


Take, If You Will, A Picture

by when_im_dead



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Carl Grimes Has PTSD, Carl Grimes Lives, Gen, Hurt Carl Grimes, Hurt/Comfort, Hyper Vigilance, Not Canon Compliant, POV Carl Grimes, POV Third Person Limited, YouTuber Carl Grimes, Youtube AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-02-18 07:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21990715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/when_im_dead/pseuds/when_im_dead
Summary: YouTube AU!Carl is recovering from a traumatic incident that left him with only one eye, and his therapist suggests making a video diary to help him deal with his trauma.Not canon compliant, just being written for fun.
Relationships: Carl Grimes & Judith Grimes, Carl Grimes & Judith Grimes & Rick Grimes, Carl Grimes & Rick Grimes, Enid & Carl Grimes, Ron Anderson & Carl Grimes
Comments: 8
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter !

"So, uh... fuck." The teenager on screen bent over slightly, moving a hand exasperatedly over the left side of his face. "This is so stupid..." he mumbled, glancing at something--or someone--behind the camera.  
"C'mon Carl," A deeper voice encouraged from off screen. "Denise said this would be good for you, she's probably right.  
"Dad, it's just... weird." Carl complained, moving his head so his hair flipped back, revealing a white bandage wrapped around his head, covering his right eye.  
The man behind the camera laughed, the camera jostling slightly as he moved. "Listen, I'll leave, you can do your thing, then we can go out for ice cream."  
This clearly provided Carl with some motivation, because he hesitated before sighing. "Okay. Yeah, fine."  
There was another soft chuckle from the man behind the camera, and the camera shook again, followed by the sound of footsteps that got quieter after a few seconds.  
"Okay, uh... My name is Carl. I, uh..." Carl flipped his hair back again, wincing slightly. "I... lost my-- my eye," he paused a look of concentration crossed his face. "I lost my eye two and a half weeks ago-- well, three weeks ago, but I was in a coma so I don't think that counts. Uh... My therapist thought it would be a good idea for me to make a... video blog? That's what she called it, so, I guess, welcome to my video blog." Carl turned away from the camera for a minute, cursing quietly. "This is so fucking weird." He turned back to the camera, "Sorry... Denise said I should talk about, uh... learning to adjust to having the one eye, I guess? Fuck." Carl put his head into his hand. "That was a pun." he mumbled.  
"Uh, anyway, I-- yeah, lost my eye two and a half weeks ago. Um... It doesn't really hurt that much, I kinda expected it to hurt more." Carl leaned back into his chair, tapping his fingers on the armrests anxiously.  
"Uh, in like a week, I'm gonna go back to the doctor's and they're gonna tell me if I can get a... prosthetic eye." He made air quotes around 'prosthetic eye,' then sighing and letting his hands drop back down.  
"So far, uh... things aren't that different, I guess. Dad's a lot more... protective. He says I shouldn't go back to school yet, so I'm stuck inside until further notice." Carl looked contemplative for a moment, "Uh, I... I guess that's all. Bye?"

[] [] []

"How'd your video-thing go?" Carl looked over to his dad in the driver's seat of their old pick-up.  
"It went good, I guess. I didn't really know what to say." Carl shrugged, turning back to look out the window.  
"All right, well, what kinda ice cream do you want, Carl?" Rick turned around quickly to glance into the back seat, where Judith was happily playing with a stuffed bunny in her car-seat. "How about you, Judy?"  
Carl smiled slightly when the happy cry of "Chocolate!" came from his little sister.  
"C'mon Carl, what kind of ice cream you want?" Rick pressed, glancing over at his older child.  
"Dunno," Carl shrugged again, "Rocky road?"  
"Good pick, and just in time too." Rick parked the car, Carl hopping out quickly and taking a minute to just breathe in air that smelled like more than dust, lemon cleaner and motor oil. He stood there for several seconds, his eye closed. It was nice to be outside again. Hell, Carl used to spend every waking moment outside with Enid and Ron. Carl was lost in thought when a hand fell on his shoulder. He flinched away, his hand immediately going to his pocket, where his pocket knife used to be held.  
"Whoa there, Carl." Rick looked pained for a moment, adjusting Judith in his arms and quickly hiding the emotion. "Let's head on inside."  
Carl nodded minutely, turning and walking into the ice cream parlor, followed closely by Rick and Judith.  
[][][]  
When the Grimes family got back to their home, Carl retreated to his bedroom. It was strange, even though he’d been out of the hospital for a couple of weeks now, it was hard to readjust to the way things worked. He hadn’t expected to be so overwhelmed by something as simple as going to get ice cream. All the people, the sounds, and smells were… a lot, to say the least, after being in the hospital.  
Carl lay down on his bed, his head throbbing as he looked up at his ceiling light. Fuck. He rolled over, facing his closet. His eye glanced over the couple of posters on the wooden door; each showing a different band, or comic series.  
There was a soft knock on the door, drawing Carl’s attention away from the decor.  
“Carl?” It was his dad, no surprise there. If it had been Judith, she would have just pushed her way in, not caring about knocking.  
“Yeah?”  
“Lunch’ll be ready in ten, c’mon down and join us if you feel up to it, alrighta?”  
“Yeah.” Carl didn’t get up. He didn’t really have much of an appetite anyway, and being around people, even if it was his dad and his beloved little sister.  
He listened as his dad sighed and walked down the hallway and then the stairs, making his way back to the kitchen. Carl went back to looking around his room, and his gaze fell on the camera pointed at his chair. A video diary. That was what his therapist had recommended, so that’s what he would be doing. Not that Carl much wanted to document his life online, but both Denise and Rick thought it would be good for him.  
Carl pushed himself off the bed and walked over to the camera, popping out the SD card and inserting it into the computer. He opened up the free editing software that came with the laptop and messed around with the footage for a while.  
Once he was… well, not “happy,” but satisfied with the film, he clicked the upload button. No going back now.


	2. Chapter 2

Carl was nervous. Not that he really had a reason to be. No one was actually going to watch the video he uploaded the day before. Well, except for his dad. Probably. And maybe Denise. God, he really hoped no one from school found it somehow, that would just be awful.

He was pulled out of his musings by a soft knock on his door. His dad’s voice came through, only slightly muffled by the solid oak of the door.

“Lunch, Carl.”

Was it really lunch time already? The day had gone by fast, and Carl hadn’t even left his room yet. Well, there was nothing he could really do about it now, except actually bring himself to the dining room table for lunch with his dad and sister.

“I’ll be down in a minute.” He replied to his dad, swinging himself off the bed and walking over to the laptop to look at the video.Twenty-three views. That was… decidedly more than he was expecting. He had expected two, maybe three or four from random people who stumbled across it, but not that many. His eye was drawn down to the space below the title of the video, where it read ‘Comments (2).’

Carl blinked. That was definitely more unexpected than the views. Of course people would have things to say, he supposed, it wasn’t every day you came across a video about a kid who had been in a fucking coma and lost his eye.  
Against his better judgement, Carl scrolled down to look at the comments.

**Lila G.**  
man that sucks! sending prayers!!  
**GreenMachine**  
this is actually kinda sick lmao

Well. That was something. 

[][][]

Lunch was a quiet affair, most of the noise made by Judith messing around with her food and being scolded by their dad. Carl kept his gaze on his plate, pushing the spoon through his soup every now and then.

When he glanced up, he caught his father’s worried look and sighed. 

“Dad, I’m fine.” Rick didn’t look convinced. “I’m just not that hungry right now.”

“Carl, you haven’t eaten since we went out yesterday.”

“I’m just not--”

“Not hungry, I know.” Rick looked pained. “You’ve gotta eat something, just… finish half the soup, and we’ll call it good. Alright?” 

“Fine.” 

It took him too long to finish half the soup. The near silence was stifling, and Carl could feel his father’s eyes on him the entire time. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. He pushed his bowl away from himself and stood up, walking out of the room.

“Carl?” Rick called after him, “Where’re you going?”

“Just… out!” Carl yelled back, nearly slamming the front door behind him.

[][][]

Carl walked around their neighborhood for a couple hours, just taking in the fresh air, and avoiding any people who happened to be out. Eventually, he settled on a park bench, tilting his head back to look at the sky.

Shit. Carl frowned as he looked up. There were grey clouds gathering above the park, and they would probably release a torrent of rain in the next few minutes. Well. He should probably head back home anyway. His dad was probably worried about him. Carl winced at the thought, he hadn’t even taken his phone with him.

He walked home, hands tucked into his pockets and trembling slightly. The walking was more exercise than he had done in the past month combined, and he felt tired. Carl made it back home in only a few minutes. There wasn’t really much in the neighborhood, and he had spent those hours just walking around the same few streets.

“Carl!” 

Carl winced. His dad was standing on the porch, the front door open behind him.

“Hey, Dad.” Carl responded, feeling only a little bad about leaving. Rick sighed.

“Let’s get you inside,” He said, putting a hand on Carl’s shoulder and leading him back into the house. 

[][][]

The next few days were a little rocky, to say the least. Carl and Rick seemed to be getting into more arguments than usual, most of which ending with Rick saying something about how it wasn’t Carl’s fault, ‘he was just having a hard time right now.'

And Carl figured, yeah, that was true, but it didn’t feel any less shitty. Eventually the time came for his doctor’s appointment.

He and Rick were in the car, Carl holding the camera in his lap, mentally preparing himself to make another video.

“You can do it, Carl.” Rick’s voice broke the silence, his tone probably trying to be comforting.

“Yeah.” Carl took a deep breath, and turned on the camera. “Uh.. Hi, to whoever is watching this.”

Carl glanced over to his father, who gave him an encouraging nod.

“My dad and I are, uh, on our way to the doctor right now. I mentioned in the last one of these, that I-- um… I’m finding out if I can get a prosthetic yet, and get these bandages off.” Carl’s voice grew stronger the longer he spoke. This was much easier than the last time.

“I’m going to see if I can record in the office, but if not, I’ll, uh, make an update after we get back to the car. See you in a minute.” He turned off the camera, bringing it back to his lap.

He turned to Rick, giving a small smile to his dad.

“Okay, let’s go.” Rick shut off the car, and Carl looked out his window at the Hospital. Yeah. Let’s go.


End file.
